What does it mean to be real?

Being real means being able to be honest with yourself about what is going on around you and within you. You know what I mean? Sometimes we think it is easier to push our feelings away and pretend like they don't exist. This is not being real. Being real means taking a look at those feelings no matter how hard or how uncool it might seem. When you are able to look at how you are feeling, it opens up a way to communicate more honestly and more clearly about what you want and what you don't want. When you can be clear about what you want and what you don't want, you operate from a place of strength. That doesn't mean being able to bully people around, but being able to make choices that are best for you without allowing outside sources to influence you. What do u think happens when u can do all this? U start to treat urself with respect and because of that, others treat u with respect ...and you know what? As you open up more to the world, the world opens up more to you. And that is what it means to be real!
Trust

Trust can be a tricky
issue to understand
because most people
think of trust as being
able to trust someone
to do something they
said they were going
to do. Think of this:
suppose you have a
friend that cheats on
his tests and he tells
you that he wants to
sit next to you in
class but he won't
cheat off of you.
What do you do?
This is a good friend
of yours. You
probably want to
believe that he
wouldn't cheat off
you. This is where
trust comes in. Trust
really means trusting
yourself to make a
decision that you will
be happy about and
also trusting yourself
to be able to deal
with any outcome. U
have the power of
choice. That means,
u have to first trust
urself to make a
choice that best suits
u. So check with ur
inner checkpoint (if u
don't know what that
is check it out on this
same page). What is
it telling u. Do u want
him to sit next to u or
not. Think about it for
a minute...don't worry
about hurting his
feelings, think about
how this is going to
affect YOU and make
your decision based
on that. Remember,
you can still be his
friend, but you don't have to put yourself
in a situation that
might affect you in a
negative way. Being
a friend to yourself
has to come first and
when you are able to
do that, being a
friend to other people
comes more easily.
And think about this,
if he did cheat off u,
how would you feel
if u believed that he
wouldn't...and would
that help him in the
long run? Check with
your inner checkpoint
in these situations. It
will never lie to u! So
ask urself, can u trust
urself to make a good
choice for U?
Finding ur Inner Check Point

Think of urself as a living compass.
U have built-in guidance and
direction for which way to go no
matter what the situation is. So how
do u find it? Try this out: think of
something that u just love to eat, like
ice cream or chocolate. Do you have
it? Imagine eating it right now! While
u r imagining, notice how it feels to
eat ur favorite food. Notice what it
feels like in ur stomach area just
below ur ribs. It makes me feel
excited, how about u?

Now think of something that u can't stand to eat...u'd feed it to ur dog if u could. Now imagine eating that and notice how that makes u feel. Makes me feel icky like I want to spit it out, how about u? Can u see the difference in how it feels in ur body? Go back and forth and imagine the 2 again and really notice how it feels in ur stomach area. This is ur inner check point or compass. It can help u in ALL of ur decision making.

Now, when u are faced with a
decision, go to ur compass. FEEL
each choice and see which one feels
best to u. Sometimes ur head wants
to try to tell u something different...if
it conflicts with ur compass, don't
listen to it. Ur inner checkpoint will
ALWAYS point u in the right direction.
Trust it and use it often!

LOVE

What do u think
love is? Do u love
ur family? Do u love
ur friends? Do u
love ur pet? Do u
love urself?

Have u ever met
someone u think is
cute and u get all
excited to talk to
him/her...u may
even feel like u
want to spend a lot
of time with
him/her. Is this
love? In a word, NO.
Some people get
this confused with
love, but it is not
love, it is attraction.
So what is love?

Love is kind of a
hard one to
understand because
in our society we
use the word love
for a lot of things.
So think of this:
Think of someone
who really means a
lot to u like ur
mom/dad,
sister/brother or
friend...this person
means so much to u
that even if they did
something that u
didn't like u would
still care deeply
about them. This is
a part of love.
Acceptance. It
means to accept
people in spite of
choices they may
make and whether
u approve or not.

Is it ok to tell
someone u love
them, then treat
them badly like
calling them names,
putting them down,
or hitting them? NO
it's not! That is not

love. How u treat
someone is another
aspect of love, not
just saying u love
them, but really
treating them with
kindness, support,
respect and
nurturing them to
become more of
who they are.

So acceptance and
how u act toward
someone is what
love is about. It isn't
enough to say I love
u, if u really love
someone, u follow it
up by acting in
loving ways. And if
u don't know how,
u learn!

Now, look at urself.
Are there any
aspects of urself
that u don't like or
accept? How about
how u treat urself?
If u make a mistake
do u beat urself up?
Or do u give urself
permission to make
a mistake and think
about how u can do
it differently next
time, and treat
urself with kindness?

Treating urself with
love...meaning
acceptance and
kindness and
support is key in
learning about love.
In order to truly love
anyone else, u must
1st love urself.

Imagine having a
newborn puppy that
is very fragile,
barely holding onto
life. What would u
do with her? If u
wanted her to live,
u would nurture her,
treat her with
kindness and
softness, give her
food that would be
good for her and
help her grow, and
make sure she had
everything she
needed. And if she
made a mistake u
wouldn't hurt her, u
would teach her how
to do it differently.
Right? This is love.
Imagine that u are
that fragile little
puppy and that u
need to treat urself
with all that love
everyday! Imagine
giving that kind of
love to urself
everyday...giving
urself the kind of
food that helps ur
body grow, the
support, the
kindness, the
nurturing so that u
can grow and learn
to be the amazing,
beautiful and unique
gift that u are.
Imagine what that
would feel like!
Feels nice, doesn't
it? Practice it. What
are some things u
can do to treat
urself with kindness
and make urself feel
loved and supported
every day?

Hurt/Disappointment

Have u ever felt disappointed
that something didn't happen or
something didn't go the way u
planned? What do u think made u
feel disappointed? Was it
because someone didn't do what
they said? Or because you didn't
get the result u wanted? Do u
think it is someone else's fault
that u are hurt or disappointed?

Think about this. Can anyone tell
u to be hurt or angry? What do u
think? No one can really tell u to
be hurt, so it's caused by u, and
ur thoughts, right? When u are
disappointed or hurt or angry, be
careful not to blame other people
for ur feelings. U are the only 1
who can control those feelings.

So what's another way u can
handle it? 1st, remember, it's ok
to feel hurt or disappointed. 2nd,
it is great to talk about it and
get it worked out.

A lot of times disappointment
comes from misunderstandings...
so talk to the person u have a
misunderstanding with. When u
do, try sentences like, I felt hurt
because "this" is what happened,
but I expected "that" to happen.
What u want to communicate is
that u feel hurt and not that they
did something wrong. So if u
phrase ur sentences to let them
know ur feelings rather than that
they were wrong, u will have a
better chance of working it out. Understand?

Sometimes disappointment comes
from putting our trust in someone
else instead of in ourself...like u
just knew (ur inner compass was
telling u) that this was a bad
situation, but u did it anyway.
And then u get upset in the end
because it turned out bad. So if
this happens, what can u do?

Well, do u want to walk around
disappointed or do u want to
figure out how to do it
differently next time? That's
ur choice. So maybe instead of
focusing on ur disappointment,
think about what other options u
have. What positive came out of
this situation? How could u do it
differently next time? Remember,
there are always many, many
options, u just have to open urself
up to them. Learn from ur
disappointments by looking at all
the components of it, focus on the
positive that came out of it, and
figure out what u can do to get a
different outcome next time. This
gives u the power of choice rather
than expecting someone else to do
something or change for u.
Comparing urself

U might take a look around u at other
people and think, man, they have it
so good
. They don't have to put up
with a wacky family like mine and all
the stuff I have to do and everything
comes so easily for them. But u
know what, just because u think
they don't have challenges doesn't
mean they don't. What I mean is,
everyone does a pretty good job of
wearing a mask. If u get underneath
the mask, u might realize that they
are a lot like u despite how their
outer appearance might look. Keep
this in mind next time u want to
compare urself to someone else.
Some people may be looking at u
and thinking how easy u have it!
The truth is, unless u live someone
else's life, u really don't know what
their life is like. What we are talking
about is judgment and assumption.
Judging someone or assuming
they are a certain way without really
knowing is very hurtful...to them
and to u. Don't judge a person on
what their mask is showing u.
Instead, try getting to know that
person and see what amazing gift
they have to share with u.
Remember, we are all works in
progress. No one is perfect,
including u.

U R A GIFT!

Remember: Some people look all over
to find what their gift in life is, but it is
quite simple. Your gift to the world is
who you are, your uniqueness, your
inner beauty, your dreams, your hope,
your laughter...you are a living gift...
and the more you can be real, the
more you can share your gift with the
rest of us! So give it a try! What are
some ways u can be real?


Here!
BODY IMAGE vs SELF IMAGE
Did you know there is a difference between how you view your body vs
how your view your self? I didn't. I thought they were one in the same.
BUT, if they were one in the same, that would mean that the only thing
that makes you YOU, is your body. That's not right, is it? That would
leave out all those great things you love about yourself like your
personality, how you make people laugh, your style, your kindness,
your hope, your talents, your dreams...all those amazing things that
really make you YOU. So body image is just that, how you feel about
your body. It can be easy to confuse the 2. There is so much focus in
the media about how we are suppose to look or not look and how we
should eat and not eat that is it easy to get caught up in feeling bad
about yourself because you don't look or eat the way you are "suppose"
to. Here's a secret. Most of us don't like the way our body looks. Most of
us think we are suppose to look the way people do on TV. But we don't.
And the fact is, we may never look that way. It is an inaccurate picture.
(Check out this exercise for an example! COVER MODEL)
The truth is, we all come in different sizes and our bodies are ever
changing. So why focus all that negativity on yourself about the way
you look when you have so many other amazing qualities. If you feel
bad about yourself because you don't like your body, change your focus
to the things you like about yourself. Make a list of them. Keep your
focus on the positive. Energy flows where your thoughts go. So that
means, if you keep focusing on negative parts of yourself, that image
will get bigger, but if you focus on the positive parts of yourself, that
image will get bigger. GET IT? Separate how you feel about your body
from how you feel about yourself and have the courage to show us the
REAL YOU know matter what your body looks like. That is the REAL YOU we want to see!

SO, WHAT IS RIGHT FOR YOUR BODY?
Get in touch with your body. Learn to listen to what it is telling you. Your body
reacts to the food you put into it, the thoughts you give it, the exercise you
give it, the creativity and imagination you give it, etc. Find things in each of
these areas that fit best for you and your body. It WILL guide you if you are
willing to listen. Inform yourself about nutrition and exercise so you can find
what is right for YOU (not everyone else)...and, oh ya, remember to keep that
focus on the positive!

R U 4 REAL?
Tell us what U have to say!
Have any questions or
thoughts u would like to
share? Drop us a line!
We'd love to hear from u!
Ok, well first of my problems start off with my age. i am currently 12 years old and
have the mind and body of a 16 year old so therefor times are hard and i am going
through things that i shouldnt be going through. Whether its guys, clothes,
friends, and tons more. I am a 4.0 student and have had some of the highest scores
on my Iowa tests. School has been great and the people are awesome but race is an
issue cause sometimes i am not treated fairly and i see other people who arent
treadted as they should. Sports and poetry help me get through rough times i
express myself so deeply in those ways cause i have no one else to tlak to. All my
friends are immature and not on my level and my parents treat me as my age which
is hard for my to abide by their rules. Even though these are not half the problems i
face; my life is not as horrible as it seems because i get through it with my head up;
I would like to help kids my age understand and conquer their problems also. Kassie, LA
My favorite things about school are all my friends and all of my fun classes
and teachers. I think that the teacher can either make or break the class.
If the teacher tries different things and fun projects, then I learn more. But,
if the teacher is mean and doesn't care about what he/she is teaching, then
the students aren't going to learn anything at all. My least favorite things
about school are all the homework. A lot of the book work is really boring
and I don't learn anything from it either. So, I often just don't do the bookwork
because it's too boring for me to concentrate on. Sometimes I feel bored
with the stuff we are doing in school because it's really easy and the teacher
has to go slow for the kids who don't understand it. I wish that all the
classes could be divided into the level of skill for that specific subject. Like,
in my school, if you place into the smart english class, you also have to go
into the smart History class. But, even though I'm good at english, I really
don't understand history, so in history i'm always confused but in english
i'm always bored. I wish they would change that.
Melissa, WA
The thing i hate about school is the bus getting to and from school because there are some people that are really mean to me adn they even started a hate katie club and i mean i don't like them so you would think i don't care what they think but i do it really hurts and i lay in bed at night crying and wondering why they hate me so much i mean one of they peopl that does this used to be my best friend and another one used to be my boyfriend and i just don't no why they hate me and it kinda ruins my day cause cause i see them first thing and they hurt my feelings then the whole day at school i wonder why they hate me i am just so confussed i don't no what to do cause somtimes i do try to be nice but then i just get so mad and i can't!!
Katie, IN
Many students cringe at the word school. However, some students
love school. I feel that school is a privaledge and that some students
need to understand that there are children in other countries that are
so excited to even get to step into a classroom. In some subjects, I
feel a challenge but most the stuff I already know, but in Honors Math
(no I'm not what those snobs that put labels on people)their is many
challenge. Xondria, TX

I never really noticed how many families are homeless, poor or alone. Where I live,
u may never suspect it, but your next door neighbor could have been laid off.
Sooner or later, they just can't pay the bills.We live in a world where money is the
key. I am not saying that money is what makes our world go round, but let me tell
you, education is the key. Do you know how many highschoolers drop out each year? Do you know how many kids run away? If you did you'de be shocked. A
person who graduated from collage instead of dropping out in highschool makes
4.2 more than the average highschool drop out.So, if money is the key, then the
only way to reach it is with an education. Personally, I believe that the best things
in life are free, and I am not saying money is wrong. I'm saying people need to
understand that their lives don't revolve around money. Yeah, it's nice but it isn't
a race here. Education is what this world needs. Also, there are children over in
foriegn countries that have a 4th grade ducation and then they were sent to work.
Xondria, TX

 
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